


Forgive Me

by theadorableoccult



Series: ColorTales [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Child Death, Depictions of Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Frisk, Pre-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 00:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7383538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theadorableoccult/pseuds/theadorableoccult
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solitude and grief have dimmed the light in Toriel's soul, but sometimes, she surfaces enough to wander through the Ruins.  But what awaits her as she walks the lonely halls will shatter her composure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> I believe everything has been properly tagged, but if not just tell me so I can add some more in. This does deal with some very serious issues that I know many people are very sensitive about.

Forgive Me

Toriel’s eyes skimmed over the pages of the book. She glanced down at the page number and with a jolt, Toriel realized that she hadn’t been reading a single word. She sighed, not wanting to not reread the page for a fifth time. The warm fire and the silence of the empty house had begun to feel stifling. Toriel shut the book and let it drop to the floor. Her head flopped back against the padded armchair and she stared at the ceiling. 

So boooooooored…

Glancing around the room, She had already cleaned and organized the books, dusted the shelves and swept the floors. Toriel ran through the rest of her mental checklist: She was tired of baking, tired of cleaning, tired of the never-ending cycle. Her eyelids slid shut as she sank even further into the chair, her legs bouncing and mind buzzing. 

I could— no— I will not eat just because I am bored. I could read— no— not that either. I have read all of the books in this house too many times.

Toriel lolled her head to the side. She glanced to the open window and the dead tree beyond. She rose slightly, then thinking better of it, slumped again. Toriel roughly rubbed her hands against her face, took a deep breath, and pushed herself out of the chair. Crossing to the door, she wrapped her paw around the handle. There was a loud pop and tumble from behind. She spun around looking for the little feet that made the noise. Another hiss and pop from the hearth was the only other thing in the house to make a sound other than her rushing heart. Toriel opened the door and looked over her shoulder.

Be good, she thought with a sad smile.

 

Red leaves crunched underfoot as she ran her paw across the gnarled dead tree. The leaves had fallen again. They never seemed to stay for long. Perhaps it was the Underground’s magic that afflicted the tall, unnatural growth. She glanced down the path that led away from her home.

She couldn’t quite put her claw on the feeling that made her paws move first one then the other, then again, and again, until she walked at a brisk pace down the hall. Glancing here and there, she noted that nothing much had changed, but she was surprised that she had forgotten many of the odd fantastic features of the old rock. She was delighted then, when she stepped into cavern and the ceiling opened up almost as tall as the mountain itself.

Glittering stalagmites surrounded her. She closed her eyes and held her breath. There it was— the sound of water droplets hitting the cold stone. Each drop echoed into the vast space of the cavern. Smiling for the first time in what seemed ages, she looked at the stalactites that hung like weightless stone chandeliers from the cavern’s ceiling.

She waited for a while, then quietly left the cavern, not wanting to disturb the peaceful cadence of the dripping water. A strange feeling spurred her on. She would go all the way. Back to….

…where it all began.

Her feet were rooted to the spot as guilt gripped her. She had made a promise to herself; that she would go out, that she wouldn’t be some homebody, that she wouldn’t let herself waste away in an empty house. Toriel set her shoulders and marched determinedly down the long hall. However, she halted when she turned the corner and a wave of nausea bowed her over.

She clutched her a paw to her nose as she desperately tried to wave away the horrid stench. The smell hung in the air like a wall, unwavering and absolute. Clutching the wall, Toriel stumbled onward. She would have to be careful, the human traps would be coming up soon. After a few more steps she froze. There was a hole in the floor.

Her mind scrambled to come up with some sort of explanation for why it could possibly be there. The floors in this area were faulty, they were designed to trap humans after all; age could have made the flimsy supports give out. Another monster could have possibly stepped on the wrong panel, but then again, no one had come this way since— no— that couldn’t be it.

Toriel edged closer to the opening. The smell was definitely emanating from the hole. Perhaps an animal wandered in. This was a mountain after all. She hesitated to imagine what could be in the darkness below. 

Toriel crept down the narrow stairs that led to the second floor. She unbolted the heavy door and pushed. Even with her full weight the rusted hinges refused to budge. After several attempts the heavy door began to open inch by inch until there was just enough room for her to fit through the door.

Toriel sent a small ball of magic fire to float just overhead in the cramped room. There was a tiny figure lying on the floor facing away from the door. Toriel gasped at the sight of the sleeping human child. She took a moment to try and regain her composure and shakily extended a paw towards the child's small frame. She gently shook the child.

“Hello, little one,” she began but her voice rose to a shrill shriek as she pulled the child’s shoulder towards her. “No! No! No! NO!” Toriel screamed at the sight of the child’s lifeless face. Toriel looked down at the rust red stains and the torn dress quickly trying to think of how long it had been since she had been through this area. It had been more than a few weeks. Perhaps it had been months. The days had begun to blur together. She had made a promise to herself that she would make regular trips to the edges of The Underground and now— what had she done? 

“How long were you here?” Toriel whispered as she hesitantly reached out with shaking paw. Her paw gently smoothed the figure’s hair. A sob wracked her body as the child's ribbon loosened and fell along with large clumps of hair to the floor. She clutched the small frame to her chest as her wail echoed against the cold stone walls. Toriel gently rocked what was left of the child back and forth as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Hours passed, and when Toriel finally had no tears left to be spent, she looked down at the small child’s frame. Not again. She couldn’t do this again.

She could not bury another child.

Toriel numbly looked at the hollow shell. She would not bury another child. Toriel carried the child away from that place. Away from that darkness and squalor. She carried the child past the tree, past her home, all the way to the edge overlooking Old Home. Toriel looked out over the balcony.

“This was our home,” Toriel whispered to the child cradled in her arms. “When monsters die, we turn to dust. Our loved ones scatter us over places that were important to us. Were you trying to find a new home as well?” Toriel smiled down at the corpse. “Well, this can be your home too.”

Toriel relaxed her arms and the child tumbled over the balcony.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy to finally get this posted! [thegreatwordologist](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatwordologist/pseuds/thegreatwordologist) has been so patient with me about this work. I can't even begin to describe what an amazing friend and writing buddy she is. I'm so happy to be able to write for ColorTales and be a part of Wordie's creative process.  
> [ColorTales tumblr](http://colortales.tumblr.com/)  
> [Wordie's tumblr](http://thegreatwordologist.tumblr.com/)  
> [ My tumblr](http://theadorableoccult.tumblr.com/)


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